i don't think anyone noticed. maybe the teacher, because soon after she said...we often go through rollercoasters of emotions in class....etc. unless someone else cried in class today i think she was telling me it is okay to feel certain emotions in class.
today i felt overwhelmed with real life and it kept creeping into my thoughts when all i wanted to do was conquer a pose. i cried because i felt overwhelmed with certain life situations that are beyond my control: other people's sorrows, other people's judgements towards me, loss, etc. and overwhelmed with body hate. feeling tight and unable...i dislike it and myself right now.
i also know i am reaching a point of fatigue. i am doing a lot physically right now that pushes me to different limits that my mind is having a hard time of wrapping around. i know i am running on minimal sleep.
i am not in control of my life completely right now....i don't know how to set it up and make it work...i am just riding the waves and occasionally being pulled under by the rip-tide....i am keeping my head above right now but waiting to be pushed under again.
what a way to live, but i'm not sure what to do right now except keep kicking my legs and paddling my arms and most importantly...keep my chin up.
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